Memory

Tonight is the night my little girl died. Soon we’ll be on the hour, and then it will have been six years, yet sometimes it feels like it has only just happened. If I concentrate I can still see her, and smell her, and hear her voice. But I can’t hold her. How I wish that I could hold her again.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, for it seems that there aren’t any words or tears left. I guess I worry that somehow she’ll think I’ve forgotten her.

I remember you every day, Caroline. We all do, and we miss you so.

Comments

  1. Katy Raymond

    Tony,

    Tonight is the night my big brother died–50 years ago. He was four years old, and I was nearly two. He was buried a few days later, on my parents fifth anniversary.

    You will never forget Caroline, Tony. I don’t believe it’s possible. And I do believe that she knows how much you love and miss her.

    I don’t remember my brother at all, but I think of him–and miss him–every single day. In so many ways, he changed my life.

    Praying for you all tonight…

  2. Michael

    I will pray for you again this year. I can’t imagine the depths of what you’ve suffered, but I can tell you that your story of a father’s love has touched so many people.

  3. onelamb

    My heart aches for you, and my tears cry to God on your behalf.

    Psa 73:23-24 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.
    With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory.

  4. Evan Erwin

    Worry not Tony, she will never be forgotten. Even when we’re gone, the words you put here will always be archived, somewhere, so her memory (and your own) will live on.

    I get teary just reading this post. With two little girls, it hits pretty close 🙁

  5. Joanna

    It’s just over 6 years since I held my son, too. We all will never forget our precious children, but I do know what you mean.

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