Perhaps draw a random name from the phone book?

I recently saw a news clip about a mother who ordered her son to kill his pet as punishment for bad grades (the son’s, not the gerbil’s). An investigator says the woman was raised by a good family. Maybe so. When it comes time to decide, however, where to place her three children (for she is surely going to the pokey, between this and the allegation of battery against the child, on top of her probation for a previous embezzlement conviction), I hope someone pauses.

There’s a bias, in cases where children are removed from their parents, for placing them in the hands of the parent’s relatives. I’ve never understood this. I know rotten people sometimes come from good homes. It seems to me, however, that if you’ve already raised one beast, you ought not be given any more opportunities to raise additional beasts. Even if you are good people. Some people can be good, I suppose, and still be lousy parents, in much the same way someone can be good and still have no business whatsoever operating heavy machinery.

Comments

  1. Kim Avery

    I’ve counseled children who have been removed from their homes and I have to say that neither relative placements or foster care seems to adequate to care for these precious little ones.

    Sad.

  2. Marc V

    Kim:
    I’m sorry to hear of your bad “luck” with foster parents. Most who I know do a thankless job and seem to provide “adequate” care. Kids in foster care are either so banged up (mentally/physically) that they don’t trust birth or foster parents, or they yearn for their birth parents in spite of the abuse. I have yet to fully understand how strong the pull is for kids to their birth parents. We (wife and I) adopted two children (now 7 and 6) last year, and even after living with us for over three years there’s still a part inside of them that wants to go back to their birth parents. It frustrates the h-e-double toothpicks out of me, and I pray the Lord will help me to find peace in this situation.

    To answer Tony’s question, DSS has promulgated a shift in the last few years where REUNITE FAMILIES is the main goal. We get nice training sessions on how families can be interconnected, extending the relation strings out to include many relatives. There may also be a budgetary consideration for DSS, where placing kids with relatives eliminates the need to pay foster parents.

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