I have one word for you. Philemon.

Another great post.

Ha, I love these Caleb and Eli stories. Caleb is going to quite the 'babe-magnet' when he gets older, if he stays as sweet as he is. Although I somehow doubt that a twenty year old with a 'crack problem' will be that appealing.

Keep up the good work, Mr. Woodlief. I appreciate the little hilarities you share.

Funny, we're doing home repair also, except for us, we're going through the whole house. We have (uh... had) paneling on the walls and there was this time when I was pregnant and shoved a knee high and very heavy safe down the stairs. I smashed it through the wall at the bottom of the stairs making a hole in the paneling (I really thought it was going to slide down the stairs, not go @ss over teakettle the way it did). David has found the hole in the paneling and with his little hammer last night removed that section of paneling from the wall. I'm awaiting when Husband drags in the sheetrock for the bathroom walls. Will our son be up to par?

"Some people have more fulfilling vacations or careers or whatever, but..."

[...we're better than them because...]

"we have our children."

Dude, some people just aren't into having children. It isn't necessary to be quite so condescending to those of us who are not fulfilled by snotty noses and shitty diapers, and who would simply rather live our days as we choose, without the demands of some little nonverbal human who needs everything done for them. You like it, good, but those of us who don't aren't somehow less because of it, mmkay?

Dear Gutless Flamer,

Only someone shockingly insecure could infer that I am asserting superiority. Since you've invited my opinion on the matter, let me say that from where I stand, you've made a good choice not to reproduce. On behalf of the rest of humanity, I thank you.

One more thing: if you are having some life choice issues, try to work it out on your own webpage, mmkay?

Well, hello, nameless too-verbal human. I bet your mother is insane, too. I also bet she wishes you had stayed non-verbal.

Sounds like nameless has a fear problem. I hope he can work through his fear and find love waiting for him, because once those babies with "snotty noses and sh*tty diapers" are cleaned up (and eventually you find you love to clean them up too), they will give you love lessons that last a lifetime.

Dear No-name,

While I will not presume to know how your life has shaped your views the vehemence with which you attacked Tony's statement does seem indicative of some strong anti-child/parenthood issues. Though I do not agree with your assessment I can understand how you could misconstrue the between-the-lines meaning that you added to his post. The comparison between career success and family fulfillment might seem to be worded to favor family though the grammar, technically, compares them equally. However, even if this were so, shouldn't those of us who prize our children be allowed to emphasize the value we place on them in a society that brands us failures if we do not scramble, scratch and stab our way to six figure jobs, colossal homes and expensive sports cars rather than live on one income and spend overtime hours playing with our sons and daughters.

I know that claiming any sort of superiority in today's America will immediately get me labeled some sort of "ist" (racist, sexist, etc.), but did it ever occur to you to wonder if being satisfied with less material gain so that one can devote more time and effort to one's family, especially the children we train to rule tomorrow's world, just might be a better way to live?

Puh-lease...

That was no snicker, my friend, that was a guffaw.

Somehow a failure if you don't claw your way to a six-figure job and a sportscar in the garage?

You should hear the crap I get because I haven't had a child and am almost thirty. It is so old to hear what a gartifying thing it WILL be (because "will" assumes I'll change my mind), or how SELFISH it is to want my life not to change like that, or whatever. Somehow because I was born with a womb and ovaries and decided that they should, well, not do what they're in there to do, not only am I a failure, but I'm pretty much destined to live an empty, loveless life, and somewhere in there I managed to betray all women and humankind to boot.

So many of us who choose not to reproduce get way worse shit than you could EVER get about not having a six-figure job. When was the last time a TOTAL STRANGER walked up to you and asked "So when are you going to get a big fat raise so you'll finally be making $100,000 a year?" -- probably never. When was the last time a total stranger walked up to ME and my husband and said "So when are you going to start a family?" -- five days ago.

We started a family five years ago when we got married and our family is just fine the way it is. It irritates me to no end to have other people's priorities and expectations loaded onto me, and then to be judged as selfish and hollow because I reject those priorities and expectations for myself.

Umm... "up dog"??

i'm with you rob... "up dog" ... ???

Yeah, what the heck is "up dog"??

BTW, Nameless, this is Tony's blog. If he chooses to express his desire to raise a family, that's his right. This doesn't negate your opinion or choices, but it does mean you should find a different way to express them. Either that or get your own blog.

Nobody "loaded" anything on to you. You should talk to someone about those delusions of persecution you have. And since you keep coming back here even though it is so unpleasant for you, I must tell you that it will, indeed, be "gartifing" when you have children.

Finally someone asks:

"What's up dog?"

My reply:

Wassup.

It's a knock-knock joke from my street days.

Gee, nameless, thanks for giving us childless people a bad name. Now everyone will think I don't have a kid because I'm neurotic. Well, actually, that is why I don't have a kid -- can you imagine the way he or she would turn out? [/FACETIOUS] Also, I'm not married, have no plans to -- and live by myself. Home girl don't play that single mama and/or cohabiting-with-but-not-married-to-sperm-donor thing.

Still: it seems as if you, Mrs. Noname, have "issues," and see your relatives everywhere you turn. I'd suggest a) either moving far away, or b) therapy to deal with those tendencies you have towards projection.

Easy, I think No-Name should get a little credit for trying to explain herself, knowing the abuse she was going to get here.

You're right -- it's nobody's business whether or not you have children, and yes, a husband and wife are the core of the family.

It's bad to get pressured into having children for the wrong reasons. A little unsolicited advice -- don't let pushy people pressure you, through their boorishness, into the opposite decision. Have children if you feel called to have them. If you don't feel so called, then it's best you not have any.

There. Can we all just get along now?

Dear No-name,

I was inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt the first time around, assuming that you had misunderstood the meaning behind Tony's words. I thought to point out the possible misunderstanding and suggest an alternate point of view to your own about the value of children in a family. I've since re-read your original comment and read your second one, which has caused me to revise my opinion of you.

While Tony has made an equal comparison between workplace rewards and fulfillment at home on his own blog (a fact that startled my wife greatly when she read his post), you have come to his site and, in a very confrontational condescending manner, made it clear that you find children distasteful at best. I find it somewhat ironic that you berate him for supposedly committing an act that you have perpetrated with surpassing aggression...and you had to search him out to do it!

I would not wish to suggest that you could not express your own opinion, especially in a place like this where you have been passively invited to do so, but before you attack Tony for his supposed condescending attitude you might look to your own snide delivery of your views in a place where you are essentially a guest. We who are fulfilled by our children are no more "lesser people" for it than those who are not inclined to raise a family, though your original comment is worded to clearly suggest otherwise.

Yeah, what Gary said.

While I agree that people coming up to you and asking stuff like that can certainly get annoying, going off on somebody who chose to have children is just as bad (worse actually, since you did it maliciously).

If you don't want to have children, FINE - DON'T. We DON'T CARE. Personally, I don't think any less of you. When you berate people for having children themselves, I DO think less of you.

OK, Tony. I'll leave it alone.

I can't remember my psychology. What's the term again for people who think everything anybody says or does about anyone or anything refers back to them. Oh yeah, I remember seriously disturbed.

A person writing a humorous account of his life with his wife and his two young sons is perceived by a perfect stranger as somehow being an indictment of her childlessness. It's no less silly than my thinking the account was an indictment of me because I don't have a purple bubble bath dispenser.

He isn't talking about you no-name. You don't even exist in his world. Thank God, or as Stephen Green says, whomever, that you don't have children. There are far too many neglected children in the world today.

Tony is right. Children are worth more than all the riches in the universe. If you don't have any, you just can't imagine it anymore than a blind person can imagine the color of the sky. And if you can stand it, grandchildren up the quotient even higher.

dear sir/m
please kindly send me an invitation letter to me to because i dont had hope in my life again
if you can help to come to you and take me like your son,because i dont had mother and father again
but i finish my school cert after i finish my school cert i started to learn fashion designer
tailoring but i have five years experience in that work please help me out
thanks
salami
from nigeria-23401