After catching some of his interview with Rick Warren, here’s my impression of breakfast in Barack Obama’s house: “Barack honey, would you like some scrambled eggs?” “You know, my grandfather worked very hard to instill in me a strong work ethic and American values. Watching the Veteran’s Day parade with him always filled me with …
The language-lovers (and mourners) among you may enjoy this article on the various linguistic abuses afflicted by corporate types. The author really leverages her knowledge to dialogue about the paradigm shift in communication practices, impacting anyone who wants to optimize value creation through words.
Cathy Young, whose writing I sometimes enjoy, suggests in her Reason Magazine essay that the wildly popular Dangerous Book for Boys is dangerous indeed, because it reinforces traditional sex roles. Why couldn’t it have been titled “The Dangerous Book for Kids”? In service to this question, Young quotes a female friend to great effect: “‘Where …
Rick Hilton needs a swift kick in the ass. That’s my opinion on the never-ending Paris Hilton spectacle. And while we’re at the butt-kicking, we can line up any number of successful businessmen, movie stars, and sports heroes who have neglected the fundamental duty of fathers, which is to train up our children in the …
It took the slimmest of Supreme Court margins to afford states the right to stop the practice of seizing the skull of a partially-born infant and either crushing or puncturing it. I used to think that people just didn’t know, but when even The New York Times accurately describes the procedure, it’s safe to say …
Though I expected Michael Lewis’s Blind Side to do for football what his Moneyball did for baseball, I found my stomach churning as I read the story of Michael Oher, a black child neglected for years in the slums and streets of Memphis, until happenstance brought him to the doorstep of the exclusive, largely white, …
“I always get a little queasy,” I began my speech, “when a group of people gets together to spend other people’s money.” Last night was my first attendance at a homeowner’s association meeting, and I was there to defend my wallet. At stake was one thousand dollars, more or less, from every family in the …
I’m trying to work from home, after flying back early to beat the ice storm. The youngest boy is in the next room with his belly on a big recliner that can spin 360 degrees. He is racing around and around it to make himself dizzy. He doesn’t have any pants on. One of his …
Those of you who take The Wall Street Journal probably caught Wednesday’s story about the efforts of Abbott Laboratories, a pharmaceutical company, to sell more of a very lucrative AIDS drug. The challenge for Abbott was that one of their lower-margin drugs was widely used in conjunction with a competitor’s drug, in lieu of a …
I’m sitting in an airport restaurant near three men, three boisterous men drinking at 10:30 a.m. on a Tuesday. The oldest, who appears to be about thirty-five and dressed like he’s twenty, is instructing the others on the tragedy of fatherhood. “My advice,” he says, “is not to have kids. Or if you have them, …
It appears that Republican control of the Senate now turns on Conrad Burns in Montana, and George Allen in Virginia. I have an image of a desperate Snow White, perhaps not so snowy white any more, pinning her hopes for rescue on Sleepy and Dopey. In the House, meanwhile, a host of feckless rulers was …
Last month we got a letter from an organization that calls itself “People to People International.” They were writing to invite our daughter to attend, at our expense, be sure, an educational experience in Australia. The letter assured us that “Caroline has been named for this honor by a teacher, former Student Ambassador or national …
I’m 30,000 feet above vast stretches of empty American land, thinking about how our legislators want to protect us from Mexicans willing to do the work we’re too fat and lazy to do for ourselves, and I’m wishing we could make a swap: one Mexican family for every elected U.S. official. Only then might I …
Word to the wise, formulated during my morning jog: it’s probably not a good idea to give your daughter a vanity plate, or any type of gear for that matter, that says: “Princess.” Because she just may start to believe it. Do you want your daughter to be the princess of your heart? Absolutely. Do …
Okay, about the exit and entry ramp. We all face the challenge of adjusting to those around us. Some of us, like the Unabomber, fail miserably. Others, like Regis Philbin, are annoyingly good at it. Still others, like Dick Clark, or my own child Caleb, adjust nary a bit, but let the world mold itself …
I feel a host of driving missives boiling up, reminiscent of my series of critiques of libertarianism a few years back, also affectionately known as “The Great Ayn Rand Beat Down of 2002.” So let’s talk about a sub-species of the animal known as “Parkius Leftius,” or what is in the common vernacular often referred …
Did you know I used to drive professionally? There are all kinds of interesting secrets I keep from you. It’s all part of the mystique, the allure that keeps you coming back to Sand in the Gears. What kind of driving, you ask? Not racing, though my Bug once beat a raggedy ’76 Mustang off …
I’ve been reading “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” to Caleb and Eli in the evenings. Caleb has been on the edge of his seat during parts of it, wondering if the Witch will turn Edmund to stone, if Aslan will die, if the Witch eats children. We finished the book last night, and …
Since today is the day we sons and daughters of unwanted immigrants offer thanks that the Almighty did not see fit to give those who got here before us gunpowder and military organization, it seems a fitting time to reply to the numerous responses to my post a couple of weeks ago, about the opposition …
While driving to work yesterday morning I hit a rarely-used button on my radio, one set to a mainstream Christian station where one in ten songs is not, for my tastes, awful. Every once in a while I try them out, and every once in a while they aren’t playing a dreadful song. The news …
It occurs to me that I ought to have some kind of living will. I’d appreciate some free legal advice (from those of you whose legal degrees were not awarded as the result of a three-week Internet course) on the following: I, Tony Woodlief, being of relatively sound mind (I mean, sometimes I get those …
A helpless woman lay starving on a bed in Florida, upon the court-supported request of her adulterous husband. There is some evidence that she remains sentient, yet the putative champions of helpless women maintained their silence. As President Bush this morning signed a bill giving Terri Schiavo’s parents the ability to resume feeding her, commentators …
My wife informed me that during a recent trip to the grocery store, when they passed the aisle with detergents and other cleaning supplies, Caleb announced, “This is the Mommy aisle.” “Why is it the Mommy aisle?” inquired my wife, perhaps already speculating as to the answer. “I guess because God made you that way,” …
Seems some of the fine minds who hang out at this Nazi website and chat forum are having a raging debate over whether I am a whiny Christian or a whiny Jew. Says one, who has lifted a picture of me and my son and pasted it into his comment: “Notice the frizzy hair, the …
My train was towing a different type of passenger car today. After we boarded, the conductor pointed out a very important detail: “There’s a closet at the end of the first car, but it used to be a bathroom, and they haven’t taken the toilet out yet. I must ask you not to use this …
On my train I heard a man talking to someone on the other end of his mobile phone. He was wallowing in an extreme state of obsequiousness. “And how are you this morning, sir? Ha ha ha! That’s great. Wonderful. No, I didn’t know that about you! Wonderful! Well, it really does sound fascinating. Absolutely …
Sometimes on flights I notice young men in college gear (fraternity or university sweatshirt, raggedy cap with a bill folded mercilessly downward, a dullness of the eyes) looking at Maxim, the marginally pornographic, highly profitable fluff for boys without the guts to carry Playboy. This doesn’t bother me so much; it’s not my money they’re …
I want to talk to you about a little-discussed, embarrassing illness that infects millions of Americans. Though most people are immune, we are still afflicted by the symptoms of this malady as they are manifested in others. I’m talking about HEV — the Happy Email Virus. We all know someone infected with HEV. We are …
The problem with morning people is that they think the rest of us are the problem. The reality is that the morning person is the classic interventionist; not content to bask in the glory of his cheerful morning, he finds it necessary to whip all those around him into a frenzy of morning exuberance as …
There are two kinds of people who use their cell phones on the train: those who deserve to have their lungs torn out by my jagged fingernails, and those who should have their genitalia removed with a rusty tweezer. At some stops not all the doors open. This is on purpose. I think it’s a …
