Sand in the Gears

Archive for the ‘Greatest Hits’ Category

The Storm

Thursday, March 29th, 2007 Posted in Faith and Life, Greatest Hits | Comments Off

The two younger boys crept into our bed in the black morning, driven by a snarling storm. They curled into me, shivering, as if I am a safe harbor. There is no keeping out the storm; this is what I ...

A Whisper

Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 Posted in Faith and Life, Greatest Hits | Comments Off

The day after I wrote about the miraculous recovery of Caleb's goldfish, the damn thing up and died. We had a funeral service in the back yard, beside a tiny redbud sapling. I decided to make it a dual funeral, ...

Three Cowboys

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 Posted in Greatest Hits, The Art of Parenting | 7 Comments »

Last night we went to The Prairie Rose Chuckwagon supper, where they feed you brisket, beans, and biscuits until you pop, and then sing cowboy songs. Caleb and Eli went in their cowboy gear: big hats, shooting irons guns strapped ...

Cleansing

Tuesday, June 6th, 2006 Posted in Greatest Hits, The Art of Parenting | 9 Comments »

I'm the designated bather in our house. Sure, sometimes the wife has to bring it, but on a daily basis, I'm the go-to guy. Okay, I lied a little. We don't wash our kids every day. With the onslaught of summer ...

Father of the Year

Monday, March 27th, 2006 Posted in Greatest Hits, Snapshots of Life | 24 Comments »

I'm in an air museum with all three boys in tow. The two oldest are seated in the replica cockpit of a helicopter. The youngest and most troublesome is strapped to my back in a contraption designed for children less ...

Foil Wrappers

Friday, November 4th, 2005 Posted in Greatest Hits, Snapshots of Life | 11 Comments »

Isaac discovered there's candy in those shiny scraps of paper the boys are hoarding. I don't know if you've ever had a toddler new to walking try to run from you, but it is a tragicomic sight: little hips wiggling ...

Spider, Man

Monday, October 24th, 2005 Posted in Greatest Hits | 13 Comments »

There's little more humbling than squealing like a little girl in front of the youngsters you've been charged with raising into men. After the arduous task of dressing three little boys for church - a chore that, let me tell ...

Love and Taxes

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 Posted in Greatest Hits, Snapshots of Life | 10 Comments »

Despite what you might think, doing taxes together is not a good means of drawing close to your spouse. I can see how one might expect otherwise, that it could foster a "You and me versus the World" mentality, or simply ...

Look Before You Leap

Monday, March 14th, 2005 Posted in Greatest Hits, Snapshots of Life | 13 Comments »

We're playing in the back yard, soaking up the last warmth before another cold front rolls in. I'm kicking a miniature soccer ball around and Caleb and Eli are squealing as they chase it, periodically whacking me in the shins ...

Buy High and Sell Low

Friday, April 30th, 2004 Posted in Greatest Hits | 8 Comments »

I've not yet had the need to plan my own funeral, but I suspect that when I do it will be much like preparing for a yard sale. There's the general sense of getting one's affairs in order, tidying things ...

A Public Letter to the Quaker Oats Company

Wednesday, August 14th, 2002 Posted in Greatest Hits | 9 Comments »

Dear Quaker Oats Company; Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try your new Quaker Quick 1-Minute Oats. As one might expect, they felt in my mouth much the way I imagine elephant snot would feel. Why would anyone deliberately ...

Hand Blowers

Friday, March 15th, 2002 Posted in Greatest Hits | Comments Off

It's time to get something straight. I don't know what granola junkie techno-fascist Earth Day engineer designed the hand blowers that are replacing paper towels in public restrooms across the country, but I'd like to replace all the towels in ...