regret – Fragments Against Ruin http://tonywoodlief.com Sat, 07 Apr 2018 17:41:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.5 A note about the end http://tonywoodlief.com/2016/09/29/4699/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2016/09/29/4699/#comments Thu, 29 Sep 2016 16:13:03 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=4699 I used to write much more about my children, but they’re growing despite my best efforts to conserve groceries, and they’re online in their various ways, and so it makes sense to let them tell their own stories, in their own time, in their own ways. I mean I know there are writers who tell …

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That malt shop in the sky http://tonywoodlief.com/2016/09/13/that-malt-shop-in-the-sky/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2016/09/13/that-malt-shop-in-the-sky/#comments Tue, 13 Sep 2016 13:36:10 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=4692 Of all the reasons to cry, the “Beauty School Dropout” number from Grease probably shouldn’t make my list. Yet here I sit, surreptitiously mashing tears from the corners of my eyes just like Danny Zuko would have done, in his leather-jacket days, before Sandy convinced him real men cry. It’s not that I’m unused to …

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The prodigal and I http://tonywoodlief.com/2014/02/19/the-prodigal-and-i/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2014/02/19/the-prodigal-and-i/#comments Thu, 20 Feb 2014 03:26:17 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=4250 I passed through Wichita today, which was no small thing for me, because on every corner is loss. That is the place we took our children to see a game not long before we divorced. There is the building where I used to gather with men who were my friends. Here is the hospital where …

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Eulogy for Mama http://tonywoodlief.com/2013/10/11/eulogy-for-mama/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2013/10/11/eulogy-for-mama/#comments Fri, 11 Oct 2013 12:21:12 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3720 My mother was born on April Fool’s Day, and I know there were times when she felt like the world was playing a joke on her. A more selfish woman might have considered me such a joke. My mother was drawn to performance art—dancing, theater, music. As you can see from the front of your …

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Benediction from a bad man http://tonywoodlief.com/2013/04/01/benediction-from-a-bad-man/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2013/04/01/benediction-from-a-bad-man/#comments Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:45:21 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3664 I guess I stopped writing about personal things here because I didn’t like the person I had become. I felt stupid, the faith and family writer who gets divorced. This was compounded by coming to DC and finding myself—though alongside very decent and honorable people—exposed as well to a few ugly people for whom gossip …

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More than bread http://tonywoodlief.com/2012/02/02/more-than-bread/ Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:14:06 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3355 When we don’t think we can control some things we take charge of what we can. This is why the functionary fastidiously maintains a constant distance between his stapler and his tape dispenser, and why the abused child has a ritual for pajamas and tooth-brushing and curling up tight that he enacts like the body’s …

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Valley’s Light http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/10/19/valleys-light/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/10/19/valleys-light/#comments Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:56:08 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3314 This morning I drove past the house where she died. The light today is the way it was then, a light that doesn’t warn you how peace comes at a cost this day, how once she’s sleeping she won’t wake again, no matter that she is stronger than little girls are supposed to be, no …

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Sanctuary http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/02/24/sanctuary/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/02/24/sanctuary/#comments Fri, 25 Feb 2011 04:01:53 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3245 Sometimes I am overwhelmed, as I stand with my sons in the cathedral, by the feeling of safety. It’s not something I ever felt in church as a child. In those days I felt out of place. I thought I was pitied or judged because my parents weren’t there. I felt condemned by an angry …

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Intentional heart http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/01/18/intentional-heart/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2011/01/18/intentional-heart/#comments Tue, 18 Jan 2011 19:15:13 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3214 I started a garden last summer. It went to weeds, and then the weeds grew parched under the relentless Kansas sun, and then they withered and died. I traveled more than I’d anticipated, and when I was home other things competed for my time, if only fatigue. I think on that garden and I fear …

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Prodigal http://tonywoodlief.com/2010/12/14/prodigal/ http://tonywoodlief.com/2010/12/14/prodigal/#comments Tue, 14 Dec 2010 18:58:17 +0000 http://tonywoodlief.com/?p=3146 Last night I had a drink with a friend, and he told me about his transformed life. He didn’t call it that, but there it is, and here he is, the prodigal son returned, the lost sheep brought home to the fold, the newly fitted vessel overflowing. He talked to me as if I know …

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