Dear Quaker Oats Company; Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try your new Quaker Quick 1-Minute Oats. As one might expect, they felt in my mouth much the way I imagine elephant snot would feel. Why would anyone deliberately eat elephant snot, you ask? Well, exactly. You see, I didn’t set out with …
Memo To: Obfuscus & Delay, Attorneys-at-Law From: Worldcom Accounting Group Re: Latest Audit Results In re your last memo (re: “Is a team of monkeys doing your books?!?”), we would like to point out that we are a team of seasoned professionals, and restate that you are in the employ of Worldcom on a provisional …
I remember watching Game Two of the 1995 World Series and deciding that Bob Costas is gutless. I came to this conclusion because Costas went out of his way, as Cleveland pitcher Dennis Martinez warmed up on the mound, to avoid describing a key part of Martinez’s ritual. Martinez is a Christian, and he used …
