About Your Princess

Word to the wise, formulated during my morning jog: it’s probably not a good idea to give your daughter a vanity plate, or any type of gear for that matter, that says: “Princess.”

Because she just may start to believe it.

Do you want your daughter to be the princess of your heart? Absolutely. Do you want her to be the princess of the home, or neighborhood, or school? Absolutely not.

My experience with teenaged girls is that the ones raised to believe they are princesses behave much more like Cinderella’s sisters than like Cinderella. And we all know how that story ends.

Funny how we tend to identify with the hero or heroine of a fairy tale, when we usually have much more in common with one of the secondary characters. I’m sure there’s a lesson about life in that, or at the very least, a lesson about how to read a fairy tale.

I’m just as guilty as the next, though when I watch “Tombstone” I identify much more with Doc Holliday than Wyatt Earp. Perhaps it’s a sense of doom, or the daily growing consciousness of my sins, or simply the fact that were I a cowboy, I’d like to be the kind who could put six holes in you before you could draw.

Still, it’s a fantasy nonetheless, because never do I imagine myself in the role of one of the bad guys, or even worse, one of the impotent townsfolk. But most of us are exactly that, no?

How staggering the gap between our self-perceptions and our realities. How lovely that we are loved regardless.

So, back to the princesses, or more specifically, to their fathers. Men, turn off the television, put down the golf clubs, and use your heads. The kinds of boys who will come sniffing around your narcissistic little Barbie are not the sort who usually grow into men. And yet there one of them will be one day, sitting in your living room every Thanksgiving and Christmas, trying in vain to do the impossible task of keeping your little princess happy.

Notes to self:

1) Explain to my boys the difference between a princess and a lady.
2) Pray my grown knights remember that the damsels worth rescuing aren’t already sitting on a throne made by daddy.
3) Work more evil princess characters into my homemade bedtime stories.

There. And all that from a single license plate. I should get out less.

Comments

  1. Jennifer

    When I met my husband he said that he had once learned a list of things to look for as warning signs that a girl was too self-centered to be worthwhile. Any sign of them meant removing yourself from that situation as soon as possible. The two that I remember were 1. Her daddy calls her princess and 2. She won’t unlock the driver’s side door after you’ve unlocked her passenger side door (in the days before automated locks were so common).

    Let’s just say I passed 😉

    But yours is a good reminder. I need to borrow your notes to self and add them to my to-dos.

  2. Jordana

    I’ve started to write a post many times about how annoying I find it to label girls with things like Princess (I’m not even touching the clothes that some parents let their kids wear that say things like “B-tch”), but I’ve never been able to say it all as well as you do, Tony. Which is why you actually get paid for your writing at times, I suppose.

  3. Mark

    Amazing insight on daughters from a man who has three sons! Teach all this to your sons and odds are you’ll end up with three very loveable daughters-in-law. They won?t be princesses, but they?ll be blessed.

  4. Paul

    Great work (as usual), Tony. Thanks for the insightful and entertaining quick read to start my day. 🙂 Makes me wish I was a better writer, and that I had time to work on it.

  5. Lucy

    So what I hear you saying is that you need to start reading your boys some Louis Lamour short-stories! He’s a VERY equal-opportunity writer, with many of his females being honorable “ladies” and many of them being deplorable “princesses”. I find that lacking in many politically-correct writers today. PLUS he lets EVERYBODY have guns. Whats not to love!?!

  6. Lucy

    You said “… And we all know how that story ends” But do we really? Are you talking about the Disney version, or the version where the step-sisters whack off their toes and heels with a butcher knife thus being hopelessly crippled, or the version where they’re fitted with red-hot shoes and forced to dance to death, or the version where they’re put in an empty wine cask naked which is then poked full of nails and dragged through the cobbled streets by galloping horses until they’re dead? Although, I’ll give you the point that none of those stories end well for them.

  7. earth girl

    Great post and good luck with your sons. I have two teenage sons and have been indoctrinating them for years as to what to look for in a wife. I have also included prayers for their future wives in their bedtime prayers, both as a heartfelt prayer and as instruction. They were talking about girls this week, so I asked them what they would look for in a wife. They gave the right answers (mostly based on Proverbs 31:30), but I have noticed when they are around a charming and beautiful princess, the hormones kick in and they sniff along with the rest of the young boys.

  8. spoonful

    I have recently reinterpreted the Cinderella story to mean that no matter how unseen we are, that The Master, has a talent that fits our soul (sole) and will find us through the most unlikely of circumstances, and elevate us to manifestation.

  9. spoonful

    I have recently reinterpreted the Cinderella story to mean that no matter how unseen we are, that The Master, has a talent that fits our soul (sole) and will find us through the most unlikely of circumstances, and elevate us to manifestation.

  10. spoonful

    I have recently reinterpreted the Cinderella story to mean that no matter how unseen we are, that The Master, has a talent that fits our soul (sole) and will find us through the most unlikely of circumstances, and elevate us to manifestation.

  11. spoonful

    I have recently reinterpreted the Cinderella story to mean that no matter how unseen we are, that The Master, has a talent that fits our soul (sole) and will find us through the most unlikely of circumstances, and elevate us to manifestation.

  12. spoonful

    Didn’t mean to post four times, your comment window doesn’t give confirmation. Sorry

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