Tony Woodlief | Author

Is Tony a Jew?

Seems some of the fine minds who hang out at this Nazi website and chat forum are having a raging debate over whether I am a whiny Christian or a whiny Jew.

Says one, who has lifted a picture of me and my son and pasted it into his comment:

“Notice the frizzy hair, the shape of the skull (specially the back of his head).”

But wait, says another, are you sure he’s Jewish? Can you verify it?

Certainly, says the first, because he uses “the very Semitic label ‘Jew-hating.'”

Ah, says the second, but here’s a post about his dead daughter. He talks about God in it. He must be a Christian. You should be ashamed for calling him a Jew.

But in another of the Jew’s posts, says the first, he uses the word “chutzpah.” This is proof of his Jewishness, concludes this genius, because:

“How many White Christians use the word Chutzpah?”

Nazi One continues to opine that, though I mentioned my daughter meeting Christ the night she died, this is likely because she is a goy, the product of my race-betraying gentile wife.

Oh yeah, I’m definitely buying that .45 I’ve had my eyes on.

It gets better, friends. Another skinhead barges into this intellectual debate, to announce that I am without a doubt a Jew, because — and stuff like this is just too good to make up — I called Vanessa Redgrave evil, and we all know that she was a fine English actress censured for making anti-Semitic remarks.

Guys, I appreciate your taking time out from Mein Kampf to study my website, but instead of reading the tea leaves, why not just ask me? Tell you what: so you don’t soil yourselves by sending the potential Jew an email — because that would lead to intermarriage and Bar Mitzvahs and such — I’ll just answer the question for you:

I worship a Jewish carpenter. Hope that puts your leather panties in a nice, tight bind.

And thanks for reading. Mazel Tov!

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