Tony Woodlief | Author

Breakfast with Obama

After catching some of his interview with Rick Warren, here’s my impression of breakfast in Barack Obama’s house:

“Barack honey, would you like some scrambled eggs?”

“You know, my grandfather worked very hard to instill in me a strong work ethic and American values. Watching the Veteran’s Day parade with him always filled me with pride in what America has done, and what it can still be.”

“That’s wonderful honey, but what about the eggs? I scrambled them just the way you like.”

“Politics in Washington are broken just like those eggs. We can fix that by working hard together for our common future.”

“Look, you can count on my vote. But do you want these eggs or not?”

“I believe every chicken thinks and prays about whether to lay each precious individual egg. Do some eggs get broken? Yes. And it’s not our place to think that we can do a better job than that chicken of laying her eggs. What I will commit to is agreeing in principle that we ought to do everything we can to reduce the number of broken eggs in this country. That’s compassion, and it’s what I believe has been lacking in Washington.”

“Barack! It’s a simple question: DO YOU WANT SOME EGGS?”

“I believe Washington is broken because we see things in black and white. There are no easy answers. What we need is leadership and commitment to change.”

At this point I like to imagine his wife going upside his head with her skillet. Which might explain why he seems to give answers that are almost entirely unrelated to the questions. In saner times we would view that as evidence of a physiological or mental disorder, and procure immediate treatment for the afflicted. But in this season we regard it as the quality of a shrewd campaigner. As always when it comes to elections, I suppose most of us will get exactly what we deserve.

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