Tony Woodlief | Author

Something to hork before your weekend

Isaac has either discovered or invented a word: “hork.” It means, as best I can tell, to eat or drink quickly. “Hey Eli,” he boasts, “did you see how I horked all my cereal?” Or, “Hey Dad, I just horked down my water.”

The last time I heard this word was when Bob McKenzie used it in Strange Brew to signify a theft: “Geez, who’d want to hork our clothes, eh?” It has a variety of other meanings as well, not all of them G-rated. So now I have to wonder if his discovery is a coincidence, or if “hork” has an onomotopoetic quality I’ve heretofore missed, or if — worst possibility of all — my son has been hanging around retro 1980’s-era pop culture rejects besides his own father.

I’m going with onomotopeia, because when Isaac gulps his water he does make a bit of a horking sound. Then again, maybe that’s life imitating art. Little horker.

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