I can’t hear you, I have a banana in my ear

We have this plague in our house that bounces about from person to person, lingering mostly in the lungs, with occasional forays to the intestines. I’m thinking that if it stays with us much longer I can claim it as a dependent on next year’s tax forms. Come to think of it, the little bug moved in around the end of December, so perhaps I can claim him for this year too.

Combine this with the unusual ability of our sick children to be perky, jumping, running, yelling trouble machines during the day, only to give themselves over to illness at night, with constant coughing and requests for water and general whining wakefulness. That there is a recipe for disquiet. I don’t do well with disquiet.

On the other hand, Eli taught Isaiah this morning to use bananas like a telephone. Bananas are Isaiah’s favorite, so now when he walks around the house with a banana in his hand, he is very likely to stick one end in his ear and shout, “ello?” You ever dig banana out of a toddler’s ear? More to the point, did it ever occur to you — those of you with youngsters — that one day you would have to dig banana out of a toddler’s ear?

Forget parenting seminars and marriage workshops and all that adult education mumbo-jumbo that today’s modern busybody geniuses have dreamed up to make domestic life more manageable. I want a seminar on digging bananas out of ears. Sign me up for that one. But only after I’ve had a full night’s sleep.


  1. Freedom Momma

    Just wanted to say, as the mother of 7 children, I have had many opportunties to dig various things out of various body cavities. And yes, one day I was at our pediatricians office getting a portion of a banana (Runt) out of one of my children’s ears.

    Keep smiling, it’s bound to just get better!

  2. Jordana

    My children have thus far preferred to stick things up their noses (though with their fingers constantly in there, I’m not sure how anything else can fit).

  3. Amy

    That reminded me of one of my first experiences with my husband’s youngest son. He was four. I asked him to get his shoes on. “I can’t”, he replied. “Why not?”, I asked. “Just can’t”, he said. “Well, do you need help tying them?” “No, I got poop in my shoe.”

  4. Kit

    I love this. I thought everyone knew that you could use a banana as a telephone, but when I showed that to my kids, they thought it was HILARIOUS!!! So, no, not everyone naturally knew that.
    In parenting, you have to come up with all kinds of rules you never thought you would have to make. Things like: Do not draw on the ceiling of the car with melted crayons. Betcha never knew THAT was a rule, didja?!

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