Tony Woodlief | Author

The Lawnmower Song

Does anyone know what the Lawnmower Song is? I’m asking because Caleb requests it every night.

Every. Night.

Here’s out ritual: First, I get his PJ’s on while he dances all over my feet and pooches out his belly, making the whole enterprise a challenge, which seems to be his goal. Next, we read a story, which is usually the same story we’ve read for several weeks in a row. Once he gets on a story, that is the only story worth reading. Right now he’s stuck on “Busytown,” though I think I’m transitioning him back to “Curious George Goes Fishing.” Oh, for the blissful days of “Goodnight Moon.” “Busytown” is just so, well, busy, and Caleb is like Howard Cosell, with a comment on everything, and some sort of weird programming that requires him to repeat a sentence until I confirm its veracity.

After the story, we say our prayers. Then I turn off the light while he climbs into bed, and then the following exchange takes place:

Me: “What song would you like for me to sing?”

Caleb: “Umm, the mawnbower song.”

Me: “I don’t know that song. What other song would you like?”

Caleb: “It’s from the mawnbower book.”

Me: “Okay, now what song would you like?”

This is followed by a selection governed by the aforementioned rule applicable to stories, namely, that it will be something I’ve sung for the last 47 nights. We were on “Away in a Manger” earlier this summer, and now we’re on “You Are My Sunshine,” which I improvise with a verse about Caleb. (Because someone will ask: “You are my Caleb, my Stephen Caleb, and I will love you — all the rest of my days; I will hug you, and I will kiss you — please don’t take my Stephen Caleb away.”)

So, what the heck is the Lawnmower Song? Is it a real song, or is he just messing with me? He’ll do that, you know. He kind of smiles when he asks for it, like he knows it doesn’t exist. Maybe I should make one up, something like:

Lawnmower, lawnmower
Cuttin’ my grass all day
Cuttin’ in the mornin’
Cuttin’ in the noontime
Cuttin’ my cares away

or, I could do a riff off “The Wheels on the Bus”:

Oh, the blade on the mower goes round and round
Round and round
Round and round
The blade on the mower goes round and round
All around the yard

The carb on the mower goes putt putt putt
Putt putt putt
Putt putt putt
The carb on the mower goes putt putt putt
All around the yard

And so on. That would throw him off his little two year-old game, to have me actually sing something the next time he asks for the Lawnmower Song. At the same time, if his cultural knowledge is greater than mine (a distinct possibility), and there really is a Lawnmower Song, I don’t want to screw him up with a fake one. You parents understand my dilemma. Any ideas?

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